must have been something in the air because i have come to realize that things weren't that bad. yes the depression has sucked the life out of me but i am on the road to recovery. Thinking that i had to so tough i think now is silly. And yet i have made a choice in my life to contiune on with what I think is right for me. And i think that this is the best thing for me because i love him. And i think that it is silly that people have to come digging into my life and cause problems because they have nothing eles better to do with their time. And I have again made a certian desicion that they can not change and no one can for it is up to me and only me and if you don't like FUCK YOU! that is all i am going to say on that matter. And i swear on the ground i walk on If there are problems caused i will do something never expected by any of you and trust me i have be preparing for it for a long time. so tread carefully for you are walking on very thin glass.